Having the courage to stand up to an over aggressive boss

Do you work for an over aggressive boss?

Are you scared of your boss?

Does your boss intimidate you?

A few years ago, I would have answered yes to all of these questions as I had the boss from hell.

At the time I was quite young and I have to admit that I did not handle the situation in the way that I should of.

I was scared, I did let him intimidate me and I dreaded going to work each morning.

I am now a bit older and a lot wiser; I would like to think that I would now have the courage and confidence to stand up to that horrible man.

Now I am sure that we all would admit that we make the odd mistake from time to time, well I do in any case.

My boss did not accept these errors however, unless they were quite minor.

I will never forget being summoned before him for the first time.

I had made a mistake, I accept, but it certainly was not life or death by any stretch of the imagination.

"So what is this all about?"

He would ask this question in quite a calm manner and I would try to answer to the best of my ability.

I would start with an apology, I am sorry sir, I am not sure what happened here, I would say.

"Do you need any extra training, Hill?"

It was like being in the army or at school in front of the headmaster?

"No sir"

This is now the point that it became a bit nasty. His voice would change from being quite quiet and calm, to quite loud and aggressive.

"So why the hell, have you screwed this up then Hill? I do not pay you to screw things up."

At this stage of my life I had the problem with my speech. I had no answer to this aggression and found myself struggling to say a single word.

I basically panicked and froze; my heart began to beat faster than at any other stage of my life.

Looking back I should have treated this whole situation as one big battle.

I should have been far more determined to keep my cool; after all who does this guy think he is?

If I were in the same position today, I would hope that I would say this:

"I am sorry but I have made an error, we all make them but I will try harder in the future etc."

Do not let your boss or your friends make you feel like a second class citizen

People we meet and have to see on a regular basis can have a negative affect on your life and self-confidence, but only if you let them.

I am a person who would get dragged down by any negative comment made from a friend or by my boss for example.

This article is about how to deal with these situations and how to not let these people and their comments make you feel like a second class citizen.

A few years ago a man called Ian attended one of my speech courses and he described a similar scenario to me.

He had been very successful in business and had reached the level of director in the company where he worked.

We were discussing this very subject and he admitted that he had an over-aggressive boss, who I think was the chairman of the company.

I can not remember the chairman’s name; however for the purpose of this article I will call him John.

Ian thought that John played a kind of business game, where he wanted to be seen as the boss and where he wanted everyone to be scared of him.

This was the situation Ian described to me. John would e-mail him in the morning with a question asking why the north-west of the country had not been as profitable in the last quarter compared to its usual levels.

He would ask Ian to meet him in the afternoon to discuss his findings.

Ian would then contact his line managers and would then write a report before attending the meeting with the chairman.

Ian was a person who had a slight speech impediment, a stutter. He would be able to talk fluently most of the time, however if he felt nervous or if he felt under pressure, he would then start having problems getting his words out and would stutter.

Ian also had words he thought of as difficult and would often avoid these types of words. He was therefore very careful when writing his report to only include words he felt confident he would be able to say.

In the afternoon Ian would go to meet John to present his report to him.

He stated that he would have no problem with his speech at this stage and that the presentation would be delivered smoothly and fluently.

On hearing the report, John would not make any comment and would instead basically just stare at Ian, slowly nodding his head up and down at the same time.

Ian described this as making him feel very uncomfortable and was just praying for the silence to end and for his chairman to say something.

The words from the chairman would not come and so to break the silence Ian would then continue speaking, giving more reasons which were probably not even correct and that were certainly not planned.

These words were also not spoken fluently but with Ian struggling and stuttering.

I had a little think about what Ian had told me and felt angry at John.

I eventually came up with a suggestion. I advised Ian to end his presentation with a question, for example, this is what I believe are the reasons, however I would value your opinion as chairman of the company.

He can then nod and stare for as long as he likes, it is his turn to talk next and Ian can sit there comfortably and just be patient.

It is very important that we do not let people like John drag us down. It is time to be strong and to stand up to these people.

gain more confidence page 7